Things always look better in the morning

For some reason I'm feeling nostalgic tonight.  I'm not sure if its the wind whipping at the house (empty except for me and the dogs) or if I just starred at the home screen of my computer for too long.  But I found myself thinking of my Grandmother Perkins (mom's mom), my favorite picture of her is my background on my computer.

Gram died about 1 1/2yrs ago of what should be best described as "old age"... heck she was 101!  So you all should watch out I come from some tough stock!
Not having her around has been really tough on me, she had been an integral part of my life from the beginning.  I spent much of my very early childhood at her home which was a house (built in the late 1600's) nestled on several acres of land in the North Shore part of Massachusetts.  Gram always had us outside never tied down to the TV or games.  I loved exploring the outdoors and woods that went through the back part of the land.  Event though she didn't have horses I'm sure my career path was because of all the time I spent outside getting dirty at her home.     

My family moved to Indiana in 1993 leaving Gram and her house back in MA.  We went back to visit regularly and even as I grew older I still enjoyed trompsing through the woods.  She came to live with my Parents in Indy when she was well into her 90's and was no longer able to drive.  She still lived an independent life with them and was found of walking around the block even into her 99th and 100th birthdays.

She was an outstanding woman and was my biggest fan, as I was hers.  The fact that she made it here for my first one star in 2006 at the age of 97 and again to watch a show jump lesson with Craig in 2010 (and to give Lewis a carrot) meant the world to me.  For everyone of you that got to meet her, you were blessed she was truly amazing.

 One of the things she most often said to me when I was fretting about something was "Things will always look better in the morning".  I think that this is a really important notion to remember when dealing with horses.  I know I get caught up in a bad school or a bad go at a show then the next morning think "well... if I just changed the way I rode this a little or made a different decision here everything would have worked out"  again... not the end of the world.  A fresh look at mistakes we have made in the morning can always give us a different perspective.

The Following is my memory of this great woman that I gave at her memorial service...the goat story still makes me cry:


"Your life is shaped by those who are in it.  I am so fortunate that my Grandmother was so instrumental in mine.  Much of my childhood was spent at her house, and vast acreage surrounded by wooded land and nature.  In those countless hours spent in her care she taught me to love nature and animals.  She had a great compassion for all living things great and small.
My Grandmother had a particular bond with dogs.  When she was a young girl and was asked what she thought of having a baby sister my grandmothers comment was “i would have rather had a puppy”.  The dog I remember most came to live with my grand parents when I was a toddler and lived a good 16 years in the Perkins house. Lucy was a Irish Setter - Grey Hound cross, the kind of dog you would imagine if you asked for the ugliest one at the pound.  But Gram loved that dog.  Lucy would accompany us on long walks in the woods and was a good companion for my grandmother after my grandfather passed on.  I remember Lucy often doing things that were naughty.   She took a feather pillow into the kitchen and shook all the feathers out, and many times stole Joey's teddy bear and pulled the stuffing out.  Once I decided to flea powder Lucy.... with and entire bottle of talcum powder and made quite a mess.  I remember these times, but I don't ever remember Gram getting mad.... maybe a muffled laugh and a “for heavens sake”.  That was just the kind of woman she was.
As I got older she encouraged my riding and showing.  I'm sure she would have loved if I had grown to be ½ the cook or seem stress she was.  It became quite apparent that this wouldn't occur when she had to repair 80% of my home economics projects to passing grades.  
I bought my first horse 10 years ago when I was a College student.  I “smartly” purchased said horse during my summer job in Colorado and shipped it back to KY,  needless to say I was strapped for cash after all those expenses.  Gram knew how badly I wanted a horse of my own and never once scolded me for such a ridiculous decision.  Instead she sent me a note, with a fairly sizable check.  The note went on something like this: “When I was a young girl I teased and teased my parents for a goat.  They never saw a reason for me to have one, so I went with out.  Now that I am old enough and have enough money for a goat, I've decided I don't want one any more.  So here is the money from my goat fund so you can buy the things your horse needs.”
Gram always taught me to follow my heart and to be happy.  I've been fortunate to turn my love for animals that she started into a career riding and training horses.  I know she was happy that I chose this career path, and she would always ask “how are the horses?” and would always make sure I was treating my horse, Lewis, right.
On top of being such an influence in my life and many others there were somethings that she did just right.  Things that I think led her to lead such a long, happy, healthy life.
Here are some of her secrets to living to 101
Smile always
Skip Fast Food
Eat your melon
Love much
be positive
Walk
never admit that you are old
Pet a dog
enjoy food
Love life
Have Faith
Take naps
Be Generous
Love animals
feed the birds
enjoy each day
travel
cook with love
see beauty in everything
stop to smell the roses
And always leave room for dessert"



Always leave room for dessert,
Jenn

The ART of failing, falling, and picking yourself back up

Happy New Year!!!

I hope everyone had a happy and safe bash on New Years Eve.

My New Years Eve Plans involved me heading to Perfect North Slopes to ski with some of my close friends from here in Lexington and my brother, sister in-law and her nephew.   We had a mixed bag of skill levels in our group of 10 from beginners to pros.  My skill level falls somewhere in the middle of that bag.

I grew up in Northern Massachusetts and was lucky to be close to some decent skiing in New Hampshire.  Most of my skiing was self taught.  Then also tried to teach several of my friends in grade school through when we moved to Indiana into high school.  My Kamikaze style of "point your skis to the bottom and go as fast as you can" accompanied by apparent superior balance and fearlessness served me well down slopes of high difficultly (that I'm sure I had no business attempting!).  I'm sure I fell, and I'm sure I fell hard several times.  Though somehow, with my Kamikaze style I got better and never thought about of remembered the falls, or failing to complete a run well.  I was fearless, invincible, and.... young.

Fast forward ohhhh 12 or 15yrs.  In 2008 Irish Alice and I made our infamous trip to Vail, CO to ski.  I had plenty of experience.... she had skied the bump at Perfect North ONCE.  Smart.  (love you Alice!).  Alice fell a lot.  I stayed upright the whole week (minus one silly fall while standing still trying to avoid snowboarders).  I never ventured off the Green Slopes (easy level) except for one Blue one (intermediate level).  Now granted the runs are forever long there and it is tiring.
And even the "easy" slopes are not that easy!  The pic to the left IS an easy run at Vail!  But seriously, I was so proud that I didn't fall that week.  But I also didn't take any risks.  I skied under my level and on runs where I had COMPLETE control.  I will also guarantee that I didn't improve my skills.

My New Years eve trip the other week proved that my skills had not improved.  My brother and I had skied together as kids.  I had the advantage as I lived more of my life in a land of snow and hills and he lived more of his life in a land of corn and soybean fields (Indiana).  He and I skied together for most of New Years Eve.  I hadn't skied with him much in the past several years but I expected to still be better than him (or at least at the same skill level).  Wouldn't you know that little punk could have skied circles around me!  (Ok he is not little nor is he a punk at the age of 27).  He also went down the "black diamond" runs that were all ice that I would not attempt... especially after I wiped out on a blue one!  I never used to back down from a challenge like that.  Where was the Kamikaze skier with the fearlessness and invincibility?  Long gone.  I have never been hurt seriously doing anything (touch wood) but I decided I wasn't going to push my luck on New Years.

YES there is a point to my very long drawn out ski story that relates to horses, eventing, riding and improving.

I realized that I will sometimes (probably too often) ride under my skill level to stay safe (and not safe necessarily in the way of getting hurt but in the way of not making a mistake)... to not push the envelope.  It isn't something I do intentionally but I know I do it.  Last winter when I was down in Ocala having a lesson with Kyle he told me "just go out and jump 5 logs in the middle of the field to warm up".  So I cantered out and jumped five logs... trotted back over to him wondering why he was rubbing his forehead (typical Kyle frustration move).  "What the h*ll was that?!"  He asked me.  my confused answer was "I jumped 5 logs... did I do something wrong?"
"Go back out there and jump the same 5 logs like someone who is moving up to Advanced instead of someone barely going Novice.  You have the ability to ride so well, I just don't understand why you choose to ride so badly so often!"
Ouch.  But he was right.  No reason to do the bare minimum when we have the ability to do so much more.  And its not that I wouldn't have been safe if I had balanced more or ridden for a deep distance at the small logs for warm up.  It wasn't that I was trying to avoid being daring... I was just doing the minimum to get over them... which was pointing my horse at them and jumping with no skill.


I also avoid working on things I am not good at.  On the flat Lewis and I struggle with turn on the haunch.  So... I avoid it.  I avoid riding dressage tests where that is a required movement.  Silly... well guess what I got dinged for not having that mastered when I was in Florida in Dec.  Guess what we have been practicing everyday... turn on the haunch... and low and behold.  Its better :)

I avoid corners, or angling fences.  I'm not talking "easy" intermediate angels.  But those serious get the horse almost parallel with the jump angles.  I am terrible at finding a line to things like that.  I worry about making a mistake, so I just turn him a little square it up just a tad bit more.  Who do you think that is hurting in the end? Lewis and I.  At home... "this is training"...I need to allow myself (and my students) to be challenged to the point of making a mistake.  Then you fix it.  Work toward increasing your skills by pushing the envelope a little bit more.  How in the world will you ever get better if you never make a mistake.  You will never know where the holes are unless you find them.  Then you work your butt off to fill them in.  And trust me you WANT to find those holes at home not at a $500 event 500 miles away.

This past season I almost throw in my upper level towel.  I had such heart break with Lewis for silly things at event after event.  Neither of us had gotten hurt but something was just not falling into place.  I was ok with telling myself "I'll just run Prelim with him for the rest of his life and win a bunch of them.  He's so easy at Prelim".  Well I'm glad I have dusted myself off, and picked myself up, and now remember the drive that got me this far. There is an ART to failing, and falling... it is not a science.  Riding is not a science.  There are some many things on the back of a horse that you have to learn to feel.  Every horse is different.  You have to let yourself fail a time or two to GET IT.  To get it right and to understand why you were wrong...  AND  to understand why what you are now doing is right!

   I am not going to just snow plow Lewis down those green slopes.  I know we have the ability to do the double black diamond runs!  He is my horse of a lifetime... and I'm going to push that envelope.

Push yourself,
Jenn